I've been so reminiscent of Florida today too, missing the sunshine and the sand, the beach, even the wind there seems different to me, for one thing I guess you can smell salt on the air; I do intend to go back....

on the way to Saint Augustine. 

Whilst in Florida, my boyfriend sent me this picture of the ocean, he said it matched my eyes best. I miss the idea of him.

Just one of many trips across the Sunshine Skyway Bridge.

Saint Augustine, I wanted to get a lot closer to the sailing ship then I did. I want to go here again!

Ahhh that stormy day, looking out on the untamed Atlantic Ocean for the first time.

Stop over in Orlando, view from a hotel me and my ex stayed in..

IT'S THE WEEKEND~~

So happy to see the weekend come after my 40 hour work week, very thankful for the work, but it's a little tiring and its very difficult to balance boyfriend, study, writing, family time and that much work, but anyway very happy o have 2 days to myself and my fam. Boyfriend's birthday is next week. I don't think I'l be able to be there on the exact day (cries) but hopefully not long after, so I have to get him his gift and prepare his birthday card, I'm gong to try to create him one, loosely based on one I found on Pinterest.
So today I'm writing, did a nice yoga set earlier, delicious lunch, terrible headache and I would like to go for a walk, but who knows, it's very windy, and a little chilly here today...

for now here's some positive vibes pictures I found round the net....

Life at the moment and random thoughts

Hello!

Wanted to write a post yesterday about the day but was literally so busy I never got to. It wasn't really a work in a regular way type day but I've had a ton of organizing to do, some work with studying and this cool fitness/inspiration binder that I have...

I did yoga yesterday morning and a good long set of stretching etc, felt so lovely. If there is one thing I truly love and respect in this world, it's yoga, even basic yoga clears my mind! Which also brings me to a random fact, I want to start conquering more difficult yoga poses this year. I did accomplish a new difficult yoga pose last year, which made me really proud. of course living on my own without as many people around made doing yoga really easy.

I haven't felt great the last couple days either, just kind of depressed and like I'm on the edge of catching something, hope I don't. I've been taking lots of vitamins so we'll see, mostly what I feel I'm lacking is sleep, and some of my depression could be linked to mountain man leaving on Sunday :(
I mean I had some things I needed to do but I don't like not being around him. At the same time I enjoy being on my own and doing my own thing. I guess It's cause I know that relationship the best, I haven't dated much and there's a good reason for it (I'm not judging anyone if they love dating or they're married, some people need their person) and in a way my people have always been my family, even though sometimes they frustrate me, I guess that's a normal family thing and maybe I'm really weird?

Other weird thoughts...
I'm trying to decide what to do with me life this spring and summer. We grow a big garden and sell produce so that's always a busy summer thing, Of course this year, I get to add boyfriend to that mix and it should make things interesting.
I'm also wondering already if we need to be closer then we are, like should I move closer to him, or what....ugh IDK some many thoughts swirl through your mind it's ridiculous. I like what I'm doing in life right now as far as growing things being involved with the earth and my horses, my boyfriend, my fitness and yoga etec but sometimes I feel like I need to start a direction. Some days I just feel I need to go to college, I wanted to when I was younger but personal problems ruled it out for quite a few years and then I was drawn in other directions, now I just sometimes hate myself for everything and I have a lot of problems, anyway I could wine about that or try to figure things out from here and move forwards. After all past is past.
So I wonder, try to do some college even though I'm older? Or just keep doing my alternate directions...I adore writing and drawing/painting, I plan on publishing my book within the next 6 years or so (hopefully the next 2 years) and I'd love to sell some art, maybe I'll post some of my art on my blog to amuse myself with :D,
Other plans include buying a more experienced trail horse (Arabian breed of course, they are also my favorite, I've owned several and have a gelding I'm working with right now). I have one I'm kind of looking at right now, named Playboy, such a cute name right? hehe I'll post a photo of him on here, he's an adoption, which is even better. I adopted an Arab once before and lost him to colic not long after, I was so so sad and cried a lot over that, he was my favorite horse ever!!
I also want to buy some land and I need to get new tires for my vehicle before I travel bad icy roads to visit my boyfriend.

See so much to do and so much to accomplish, this post just kinda became a mess of thoughts and goals...
Now for a few pictures....

                         I needed an energy drink to get through yesterday haha and an apple

 blurry pink sunrise this morning.

Hello wide world or great silence that I'm speaking to.
I've been wanting to blog more, and every year so far I don't get to it. I realized just now, looking at my shabby, little, neglected blog that I also only seem to get something done about this situation on December 31st, coming into the new year and I have a burst of energy and write a yearly review and intend to go further from there...
Now in the past, I didn't have this lightweight laptop that I know have. Makes things incredibly easier then usual. and my years have been super busy, since like 2013, when I tried writing and blogging some. Not to get confused, I do write constantly, but it's that I'm writing on my book not on a blog. This year I really do wanna find time for both and all but we shall see. I hope to do better. I am looking at another busy year, I have a steady boyfriend. We've known each other since I was about 5. Right now, we're doing a five hour long distance thing though, we're sometimes I'm there and sometimes he's here for a bit, it can be exhausting and he has no internet service.
I will refer to him as my mountain man, since that's what I call him on a regular basis...other things to balance coming into the new year, 2017, is health, fitness, yoga, family, hopefully some studying/college, and lots of horse and garden work, also camping, and more hunting in the fall of 2017, it sounds like an odd mix of everything and maybe it is but I happen to like the chaos that's my life,
So here's a little review were i just try to be positive about my life. Maybe a photo set to follow...
Laying by the warm wood stove, it's Saturday, my boyfriend is here, and so is my family, all kinda doing their own things at the moment. I trimmed Mountain Man's hair a few minutes ago and he took a shower,.. occasionally there's also the boom of fire words, marking the exit of the year.
Earlier today, I snuggled with mountain man, and felt blessed to be able to do so, we had some fun and got coffee, everyone was up and around kind of earlier. I guess Zach, my brother and his girlfriend and her mum are coming over mid morning and staying for lunch. My dad was trying to get a few things done on my vehicle and it ended up being annoying and tedious work, so mountain man and I went to town at like 9:30 to get them, we also picked up orange danish and cinnamon rolls for tomorrow. the spoiled way we occasionally have sunday morning breakfast.
The last day of this year, was mostly just cozy, although I did have some bad anxiety going on about what to actually do for the eve, drink champagne with fam and boyfriend of course, but I didn't want mountain man to feel like I'm a super boring person, there's so little to do as far as a night on the town, in our small little neighborhood, so I finally talked with him some and I felt so much better because he didn't feel that way at all, he's so relaxed and I'm so blessed to have him. so we did stay in, we ended up going through elk shed storied online, huge antlers people have found. and we had some chips and salsa, everyone else had played a game called catch phrase for hours and hours, and finally they quit, my brother and sister in law came back out around 10:30 and we chatted till midnight, we started drinking some champagne around 11;30 so we could properly enjoy it and we talked about the good times of the last year, mum dosed off, "resting her eyes" and dad was asleep haha then we had a cheer, and "clinked" glasses and BF and I kisssed, I don't felt great to have an actual cozy new year, last year, Abby and I spent New Years together in CO. drinking angry orchid and the year before that I spent with my ex in Florida, ugh not a good memory... so I just wanted to remember how great and calm this new year's eve is, and how blessed we are.

Ok, anyway that's getting of course of some of my review...
So onto things I'm proud of this year (2016):
Saved enough I was able to buy my vehicle.
Learned new yoga routines,
Got out of a unhealthy relationship.
Walked and ran a lot, like always (only this year the running tapered off after I moved back home)
Finally got my passport renewed.
Made 2 actual friends (Bre and Shay) although I moved and don't talk as much anymore, big step for me as I'm not a social person AT ALL.
Went out socially more in general.
Conquered some food fears, especially by traveling and trying some new people's baked food, which I'm afraid of (still not saying I want to do that to often haha)
Got moved and things closed down in Colorado ok.
Almost finished writing a book and did a ton of planning for my other series.
The biggest garden project we've ever taken on was a success, stayed very busy working at that through the summer and made profit, which I was proud of.
Began dating my boyfriend, in September 2016, such a wonderful shock!
More bond fires, which I stuck around for.
Built shelves for my mum in her basement.
Got back on my Arabian horse by myself.
Bought my camping gear.
Overcame many a day of depression and sadness,
Went elk hunting/shed hunting with my boyfriend and dad (beautiful scenery!)
Got to visit a new state, one I hadn't been to.
Wonderful thanksgiving and had a second thanksgiving which I've never done before, with my Mountain Man's family.

There's been stress but just as many happy days I think to balance them out. I worked out a lot this year and tried to stay focused. Of course there was things I didn't accomplish and some of that was because of the boyfriend distraction, which I hadn't anticipated at all...I'm getting things balanced there, finally, so I can include him in my other goals.
Next post will be about some goals of the new year. I'm not so into the strict resolutions thing but you do have to believe and inspire yourself....
Me precisely one year apart. I'm not sure there is a lot of difference, but I don't like the way I looked as much last year...

Feels like the first time~

So, I'm back to wanting to keep up more with my blogging, even though I'm bananas busy, it's probably going to be spotty at times, but I guess the fun will be in the trying...

So a quick overview. I'm in Florida now, west coast, River is just me pen name....I got my license's switched, registered to vote, got a job, and I'm working on my exams for school, or however it works, I'm narrowing in on what I want to do (and writing on my novel/book in the meantime), the bottom line is I'm desperately wanting to do the TESL still, I was going to do the oxford seminars in January, but since I've never gotten even an associates I'm not sure it makes much sense to worry about the certificate when I need to have some college in, in order for most countries to consider you as a teacher.
So now I'm thinking; get an associates degree and then maybe do the EPIK course, they do one through like a different company, and you can get started with an associates instead of a bachelor's. You can even continue your education in a different country!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW FREAKING EPIC!!!!!! Since that's always what I've wanted to do.....so anyway things may be uncertain, but how much I want to live, breathe, and explore other countries, starting with my Korea is not uncertain, so I'll make it happen even if takes me another two years, that time will pass anyway......

Anyway on past that, I have a passion still for dance,acting, martial arts and languages so I'm always continuing on that. And book publishing!! I'm to Page 140 in my book woot woot....

So I'm living with my sister, continually stuck in time-looped thoughts about my international boy <3 and trying to just survive. Sometimes it's really hard because I may look strong on the outside and sure, but some days I feel really suicidal to be honest~

So here we go again, I'll try to make a post tomorrow.